...there is no wasted time...

Looking back on the last year or so of my life is pretty intense. I've done some things that I definitely never thought I would do. But when I look at where I am right now...I don't think I would be sitting here at my computer right now writing this if I didn't go through what I did. Ya what I went through definitely wasn't the hardest thing in the world and people have gone through life dealing with incredibly harder things...but that was enough for me. Feeling that there was absolutely nothing inside me that was making me happy, nothing inside that felt anything like "John Lamos" was definitely the worst feeling I have ever had in my heart.

Then there was that moment...and I doubt I will ever forget it...where that realization came that I needed to make a choice. Either this was going to keep going into something that would change my life into something I never wanted to be...or I needed to come back. Come back to a place that I haven't been for years. And when I came back to that place...I guess the only way to completely describe it is to say my heart was full. And since that day God hasn't stopped showing me something incredible. There is a life that I was not living. There was a life that I am now discovering. And this discovery has not been easy.

Since September a journey has started that has been full of high points...full of excitement, full of intensity. I have never for a second stopped learning...about myself, about other people. Even though this learning has been the most exciting and fulfilling thing I have ever done...God still lets us go through very hard times. Through discovery and through learning...there can be a lot of pain. But when you truly think about learning and discover...there has to be pain. How else can you learn or discover?

My Dad reminded me of something tonight that I know for myself is so easy to forget. GOD DOES NOT WASTE TIME...there are no moments of wasted time. There has never been a single second where God has stopped showing me something...even during the times where I feel like I'm stuck or feeling like I am not going anywhere.

Discovery is all about becoming who you are and becoming who God has always dreamed for you...even if you feel like your heart is braking to the point of never coming back together. Always remember that God is not in the business of wasting time. Every moment, no matter how dull, how low, how high...there is something so important to learn and realize. May we always remember this...